Things I think in my head about Halloween!

Despite the horrible rain once again this Saturday, My holiday turned out pretty well. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays not just because of the fun costumes, but the candy of course. I decided to dress myself as an old man, while my brother crossed to the more Hispanic side of and went as a taco. Even before Halloween starts my brain if filled with questions, thoughts and concerns...

-Are you seriously going to buy that costume

-Nice decorations

-Eww who gives out raisins

-Alright open up your lights are on, we know your home just open the door!

-"What are you supposed to be?" "A pop star!" Geeze for the fifth year in a row!

-Then you always get to the one house that gives out the best stuff, but by the time you get there, the kid in front of you gets the last one. and the house only made enough for that many.

-OR threes the house that has the old man or woman answer the door and the house always smells funky.

-Then you get to the one who you didn't even know lived on you block and its some foreign family that has a weird accent so you can't understand them and they always ask "oo look how many children there are, hold on let me count so I can get the candy." Five minutes later "oo I'm back here's the candy, oops i forgot let me go get some more for you. And by the time he comes back your alone at the door and don't even want the candy!

-Why not go to stop and shop or Costco get five bags for a buck dump it into a bowl and answer the door then let each one take a piece and say trick or treat. Or you can make it harder for yourself.

-Or my favorite house (Mom you know a.k.a squidward) who this year came to the door with her video camera to video tape us and take pictures of us asking for candy!

-And there goes the princess, the banana, a pirate and scream walking up the street. Haven't seen those costumes in a while!

-then the candy bowls that have the hands that grabs your and scares you to death, so the guy that's handing out the candy can watch and laugh when you scream and make a fool out of yourself!

-WOAHH, look guys there giving out prizes instead of candy, a kaleidoscope! (really happened)

-My personally favorite my neighbor asking the lady who answers the door "mmm your house smells like soup and roast beef" The lady makes a weird face and answers well I do have to feed my kids too, would you rather have that then this candy?" she says only as a joke. "WELL YEAH!" he yells.... good times, good times

-And my neighbors house who gives out the best. The KING sized candy bars! SCORE!

~~~Boy, do I love Halloween!~~~

Things I think in my head about people who shop at Petsmart

Well the other day we had to go drop of my dog at PETSMART to get a haircut. I have been to that store many times and never really thought about how many people are so crazy about their animals. I  am not making fun of anyone but if you need to shop with your dog in a green polka-dotted stroller there may be a few slight problems. I walked in and saw some really interesting things that's when my head became filled with thoughts...

-I didn't know this many people were this crazy about their dogs.

-Is it Pet Smart or Pets Mart?

-Are you seriously pushing your dog in a stroller, it has four legs you know.

-Hey mom, can we get Rudy a hot pink sparkly vest?

-Harley Davidson boots for a dog, you've got to be kidding me.

-(we walk into the grooming place) hey look nail polish for dogs hey Rudy want a pedicure.

-Then we saw this Little Yorkie who was getting groomed, he looked miserable and his face was really funny, he was almost asking me to help him.

-Your dog does not need a barbie princess Halloween costume its a boy you know!

-Uggs for dogs in every color... someone needs help

-Poor cats in the window will someone buy them already.

-Wow your desperate for friends, while there is  a guy having a full out conversation about his weekend with his dog. 

-How many times do I have to say it, THEY WON'T ANSWER BACK!

-I think Rudy needs a hammock and a stroller too.

- Want a matching robe and slippers for your dog!?

-Sunglasses and Goggles for the pool for your dog, there called DOGGLES!

-Hawaiian board shorts for your dog.

-Halloween wigs!

-Then the best part of the whole trip, a lady is pushing her dog down the isle in a dog stroller and trying on clothes for it! Wait gets better, shes waiting in line behind us and starts yelling at her dog to sit. You'll never guess what his name was...MICKEY the same as my brother. Then she buys a mickey mouse costume for her dog who she talking too.. "Mickey sit, sit Mickey, good boy as my brother is in the store buying a fish and this poor dog "Mickey" is stuck in a green floral stroller trying on Halloween costumes. PRICELESS!

Things I think in my head about Satan!

My mom always told me that there was no such thing as satan, and I believed her. Well this spring it all changed and SHE WAS WRONG! There is such thing as satan, and guess what lucky me she is on my lacrosse team! As soon as I saw her walk on the field, I swear I didn't think my life could get any worse!

-Why can't you play another sport that I don't do!

-What are you wearing, were running you know!

-What the heck am I going to do now.

-Leave please!

-2 weeks later...QUIT ALREADY YOU KNOW YOUR HERE JUST TO SOCIALIZE!!!

-OKAY lady if your gonna talk about me and say that I cant play you've got to be kidding me!

-Don't sit in front of me your hair is too big then I won't be able to see!

-Talk about The hair...can't you put it up in a headband or a ponytail even!

-ugh I say as I compare my soccer shorts and Bella mozzarella t-shirt to her hot pink and black matching tight tank top with matching shorts and earrings and EYE SHADOW! Freak

-Shut up your gonna get us in trouble...wait you already did!

-GET OFF THE TEAM!!!

-Can it be SATAN?!

Things I think in my head about my soccer coach

Over last summer, I tried out for a traveling soccer team. Well that was a big mistake. It looked fun and the coach seemed nice. Well that all changed this year. He wasn't the coach I thought he was at first, so let's refer to him as Coach J. Coach J if your reading this i hope you become offended. I'm not trying to be mean but I think you deserve a little embarrassment since you hurt me so you wouldn't be embarrassed if front of the other girls. Please Coach, sit back relax and be embarrassed for once in your life. As soon as I heard what had happened with this "team" I just had so many thoughts in my head...

-What a jerk

-He's really that embarrassed that someone (me) actually stood up for themselves and quit your team.

-Why?

-Why are you a soccer coach anyway? Wait why are you a coach!

- Why won't he just stop with his stupid childish (is that a word) excuses and act like a grown man already?!

-Soccer is soooo not your sport dude!

- If he ever tries to apologize to me he'll be sorry!

-Him and his daughter should just..... (I'm sorry i was trying to contain my fists)

-Find another job please it will be better for all of us!

-By the way coach every other girl on this "team" of yours if that's what your going to call it wants to quit and they all think your mean, and they all now the truth! So just do us all a favor please!!!

Things I think in my head about Slankets!

Well for a little while now snuggies/slankets have been pretty popular. And of course I had to have one! SO for christmas My wonderful aunt Michelle DeGrace bought me one! I was so excited to have it and as soon as i saw it  in the plastic my brain was filling up with wonderful thoughts of everything i could do with my new ROYAL Blue slanket!

-Can I take a shower with it?

-Would it be weird if i went to school wearing it?

-Come on Rudy let's for a walk in my slannnkettt!(I like to exagerate the word slanket its so fun to say!)

-These are definitley going to be the new style!

-Can i wear this in public?

-Would Shannon mind if I wore it to her games?

-I AM SOOO SLEEPING IN THIS!

-All it needs is a built in potty and really wouldn't be cold! (You know how sometimes feel a breeze?)

-Would people think I'm weird if I you know walked around town in it?

-All they need is to have you be able to get the fitted and customized!!!

-Even though it's a little odd and weird looking you don't think anyone would mind around wearing it, I mean who cares they don't have to wear it if they don't want to!

-They should really make one water proof for the pool,shower,and any other bodies of water!!!

-Whats up with the back if it was closed in the back you would never get a breeze through the back door, and no one wants that!

-Boy I really gotta thank shell! Maybe I'll get her one too!

Things I think in my head when I have BRACES!

2 Wednesdays ago (the 28) was the BIG day. Also i should probably mention i had pink eye in both eyes too that day! I was finally fixing my gnarly teeth with braces!  I has a stomach ache all morning and when I walked in the Orthodontists office, BOY DID MY THOUGHTS START CHURNING! (Does that make sense?)

(While we are in the waiting room)

-Ohh god is it gonna hurt, man OH man! :(

- Boy is this sal tropin (stuff that dries up your spit) making me feel gassy! Wait isn't it supposed to dry up my SPIT!

-OO crap will i have to be on that "Perfect Smile Board" for everyone to see while they waitt! 

(I enter the room)

-EWW what kind of flavors are these are you kidding mee!

-Take this metal tray out of my mouth already DON'T YOU KNOW IT DOESN'T FIT!

-Whatever i guess that Fake bubble gum flavor will have to do for now!

-What is this gooey drippy stuff oozing all over my tongue!

-Great everyone is gonna call me brace face now!

-STOP STRETCHING OUT MY CHEEKS I LOOK LIKE A FREAK LEAVE ME ALONE I THOUGHT THIS WAS A DENTIST NOT A CHEEK TORTURE PLACE!

(I finally sit in the chair to put the stupid braces on finally)

-Boy i can fall asleep

-Lady i know you need to reach far into my mouth but really does your chesticals need to be in my face!

-OWW OWW if i flinch it means take the DARN thing out of my mouth!

-COME ON GEEZE LADY!

-Alright were finally past the hardd part.. OOH COME ONN I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE!

-EW.. EWWW....EWWW this takes like @#!$!

-I would rather eat anything but this glue, wait is this toxic!

-Ohh I hope my hair looks okayy! Is anyone watching

-HMM what colors should i pick??

-OO boy here comes the plastic cheek squeezer/spreader/pain opener/ (its the thing they keep your mouth open with i think its a separator!)

-STOP yelling at me i know my tongue is in the way i have bad muscle control geezee!

-OOK there done right oorr nott!

-Whatt are those pliers forr!

-OKK IM FINISHED WAITT NOO HERE COMES THE LADY to explain stuff to me , BETTER SIT DOWN AGAIN!

-CAN I GO HOME YET I KNOW I NEED TO BRUSH MY TEETH BETTER NOW!

(I walk out the door finally and get in the car to go home)

-OWW OWWW OWW, ohh boy braces and pink eye well at least it will keep my mind of of my teeth for a little bit!

Things I think in my head about Dogs!

1 year ago for Christmas I got a black puppy. We named him RUDY, and ever since then I have been very curious about a few things!

-What colors do they see in?

-Do they have an conscious and their own opinions?

-Why to they have 2 butt holes?

-Do they know whats going on???

-What to they think of us?

-Why does their breath smell like fish?

-Are they embarrassed after they get a haircut?

-Why don't they have a uvula?

-Why to they shake and squat when they poop?

-Why do they lift up their leg when they pee?

-Are they self-conscious about us watching them go to the bathroom?

-Can they get constipated?

-Do they go to the bathroom in the house on purpose?

-Do they fart like we do?

Things I think in my head when I home sick with Pink Eye!

I Woke up on Wednesday ready to go to school but my eye was puffy and red, thats when I got Pink Eye! I have been stuck home dying of Boredom for 4 days which gave me a really long time to think about plenty of things............

-What would happen if I never had to go back to school?

-EWW what is pink eye, what  is all this weird things in my eye red and gross.

-What the HECK is goozing out of my Eye! 

-Can my dog get it cuz he would have it by now!

-What is all this yellow crusty stuff keeping my gross pink eye shut every Morning!

-When will my SUFFERING AND BOREDOM END!!! I NEED HELP!!!

-What if my whole school got it would they cancel it?